Semester 1 Sample Characters

Albia, Sister Virgin Mary:  Lead educator in The Eighth. Taught Dickie’s dad before WW II and remained at St. Vincent for 50 years. Secretly liked by many of the students, particularly because she enjoyed laughing and seemed to take a joke. 

Berrysherry, Hank:  “Anything is Possible” WWI vet who immediately married Mary when she was 19 and he returned from France. Came back supposedly “a dead man,” but lived to be 79.  Best friend and neighbor of Richard Fleegle Senior.  Devout Catholic dedicated to the sacred vows of marriage. Held an annual Christmas party when he sponsored a lottery for the predicted year of his death.

Blessmore, Father Theodore:  Assistant pastor at St. Vincent.  There he received the nickname (but it was never said to his face) of “Watchdogs.”  Also known as “Watchdog” because of his tendency to spy on parishioners. Did not understand Dickie’s innocent inquiry involving cults. Did attempt to teach the guys about sex.

Carroll, Douglas (Dougie):  Uber-nerd of The Eighth. Highly intelligent. Basketball and football student manager. Nickname: “Dougie Strangelove."

Donner, Delbert:  Dimwit Dweeb who got the Scholar Athlete Award. And I am not bitter. Strap was, however. “Habit- Hugger Suckboy” Donner was the one who comforted Sister Albia Virgin after Strap’s stand-up on Poverty, Chastity and Obedience demoralized the nun so much that she slumped low in her chair and sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Fleegle, Bernadette, Mary:  Named Desire (pronounced DEZ uh ray) by her normally conventional, strictly Catholic mother, she was commonly known as “Dipsy,” or “The Dips,” and occasionally referred to as “Bernadips.”  Dickie’s sister.  Often mistaken for a ninth grader, she was physically advanced in The Sixth. Very.  Sometimes known as “The Delta Flasher.”  Dipsy eventually married her hero, Virginia Smuggerugg. They currently live in Washington, D.C.

Flores, Hernando:  Gifted jokester on scholarship at Truman. Kind of a combination of Dickie and Strap. In love with Drownedtrodden. Like Dickie and Strap, unsure of a lot when it came to love.

Gotsinger, Paul (Pug):  Owner of Lombardi’s Bar, also known as Pug’s Place, Pug’s or The Tap, a tavern where local decision-makers met. 

Hedwig, Sister Mary Gertrude:  Albia’s replacement:  “Hit Gig Gertie.”  AKA: “Sister Chuck.” Remained at St. Vincent all of December of 1966 and January, February and March of 1967. Her brother lived and worked in Stillwater Springs and was one of the Scribes. A few kids tried to give her the nickname “Clueless.”  She was not. Others tried “Heartless,” but everybody was afraid to utter that one, lest Gertie find out and rip theirs out.

Klubowski, Jeanie:  The girl Dickie denied being his girlfriend for much of The Eighth. She became his wife in the second semester of college. Jeanie, by her own accord and not because of social pressures, yearned to be a stay-at-home mom.  So many times and in so many ways, Jeanie’s love saved Dickie’s silly ass.

Lander, Lamar:  “Lumbering Lamar,” “Gentle Giant”: My best friend in The Eighth. Never purposefully and without cause harassed the nuns, despite being punished for having an atheistic father.

Landers, Ann:  Newspaper advice columnist who ran in The Herald-Admonisher. Lamar’s dad hated her as much as he hated the smug sensationalist Paul Harvey.

Lochstein, Abraham:  “Opportunistic” Milwaukee attorney attempting to make a name for himself by specializing in feminist causes. Represented Mary Berrysherry in her attempt to sue Dickie’s dad.  Replaced Darren Carroll as city-county attorney.

Long, Gary:  AKA:  “Scary Gary,” “Pecker Twirler,”  “TPG”, “Verybrink,” “Despickleable,” “Usher to Hell,” “Mexico Man,” “Dickie’s Parents’ Chauffeur,” “Thawman,” “Seehorn’s Nuke No-humper,”  and “The King of Cooch.” Leader of the 1966-67 Waywards in The Eighth.

McCarthy, Conrad:  Apostle Matthew, leader of the Stillwater Springs Scribes when Dickie was in The Eighth.

McElroy, Jim:  Circulation director for the Stillwater Springs newspaper.  Newspaper carriers hated the guy.  AKA: “A-Hole-Mac” and “Mad Mac.”

Meredink, August (Augie):  “Dink” was the Packerland County Sheriff for more than two decades.

Twaddle, Jimmy:  Local radio personality and newsman for WDNM-AM. Hosted “Speak Yer Onions.” 

Warren, Earl:  Leader of the Supremes (not the musical group, although that would have been interesting).